15 minutes SHOWDOWN!!!

How sweet I wonder!!!!!  Adorable scene, Picture Perfect …. Something about a man playing around with a small kid, he had the same spark in his eyes as the kid, and if the man you witness is ridiculously handsome it kills you with happiness. Extremely involved in coming up with some interesting games to keep the kid glued to the seat and happy.

It took me some time to comprehend such a sight of sweet, loving relationship between dad & son. Don’t see much of it these days.  I was alone and waiting for my friend. Boy was I pissed or what, hate waiting!!!! Who likes it anyway?  As I walked towards a coffee shop mentally abusing my good old friend, where are you…. You kind of become very sympathetic towards your situation when you find yourself waiting in the late evening , loneliness just doesn’t frustrates you but also scares you.

I was all set with gathered abuses and pity plight of mine to tell my friend “Do you know how it feels to be alone” (you ought to exaggerate thoughts in mind when alone). I came across this cute kid playing with his dad. And BOY!!! The dad carried his strikingly dusky tone good looks remarkably well, pierced eyebrow, beige corduroy pant, crisp chequered not so formal shirt. He had this spunk in his attitude; his hairdo had not so recent style but definitely impressive edge in his overall personality. And of course my eyes revolved around the dad than the innocent kid. 

I sat right across their table. My phone popped a notification “LOW BATTERY” 14% of Battery Remaining. And I had to call or text my friend judiciously. Just then Coffee shop attendant marches towards me asking what I would like to order, moment I say what, he corrects me saying “Self Service Mam”. I thought in my mind why did you bother to ask???(for all obvious reasons I was kind of upset )

So I walked to the counter,

• Female Attendant at the counter: What would like to have mam?
• Me: Cappuccino
• Female Attendant at the counter: 77 Rs mam
• I gave her only 100rs I had in my purse, she looked painfully disappointed with this.
• Female Attendant at the counter: Do you have 7rs change mam
• Me: I said NO, She was visibly not satisfied, or happy with my reply. She observed my purse as I was closing it. I had to literally open and prove it to her I really don’t have woman!!!!

Just then breath of fresh air, very pleasant, scintillating wind brushed me aside. There he is next to me totally unaware of my gawking at him. He says 1 Donut and …. Sigh…. I lost track of what he spoke afterwards…  

Hazy sight, blur image and I subconsciously collapsed by his cologne he wore. There is always something about enchanting men cologne which defines men sense of style & personality, which takes away breath of a woman.

I see the female attendant at the counter all focused on what he has to say, I thought in my mind … I understand girl I really do!!!!

Well, Now I am back at my seat and I saw my almost dying phone and I quietly sigh away the apparent. I assumed he is married and keeping his kid busy whiles his mom shop. I wondered how thoughtful is that? Does men like him are made in lots somewhere? If so my next vacation destination!

He suddenly surprises me by turning his chair to the side so that he gets a glimpse of that one person who is been stalking him for some time now. I felt terribly embarrassed and I cursed myself for being so obvious (when you are alone few things have all your attention). Then I gazed the sky lost in my contemplations, is he single father because he looks so young and superlatively physically fit. What must have gone wrong? Which woman would possibly have “right “reasons to let this man slip away? Well… We all have “only right” reasons to let go things.

To my shock now he began staring at me, he almost turned his chair towards me that gave me sudden chills through my spine. I hurriedly rang my friend, phone is still switched off!! Damn!!!! I need you…In trouble!!!

 But he definitely do not look like one of “those” guys, for god’s sakes he has kid along he should be the nicest person on this planet right now.  Now he almost began to converse with me through gestures, body language and eyes. It felt he needed a friend too, waiting for someone. Someone he can talk to for hours, share his sob stories, longed for some love. By this time I practically decided & confirmed he is single father.

He almost looked annoyed that his son is interrupting his concentration, and disturbing his body language which sent me few messages that he is interested to have a “conversation”. I felt bad for that kid who wanted his attention. He demanded for another big chocolate donut & the super dad sweetly advised him not any more….

Just then…   Rinnggggg goes my phone. Hey I am sorry, where are you now, I was caught up. Phone went to flight mode accidently never realized until now. My friend seemed more terrified than I was sometime back. 

And I surprisingly replied calmly its ok I am right here, just waited for you 45 minutes.

He was extremely sorry to put me in this situation. And I astonishingly did not find it a problem!!! Guess he was more shocked to find me calm!!!! He said I will be there in two minutes.

It’s just 2 minutes now, should I just go and tell him, I admire the way he handles his son. Share hellos and talk about that & this. By this time he did look all uncomfortable just sitting and gazing, saw a streak of eagerness to just get up and walk up, to strike a conversation. I chickened out with this observation of mine. The very thought of striking a conversation with some stranger father made me lose all the woman power I had few minutes ago.

I got a call from my friend saying he is here and I abruptly got up from my seat and I hurried out of the coffee shop. Did not even look back to see his reaction. 

While I was walking towards my friend it occurred to me what if the man is actually single and was just playing with his sister’s kid!!!! Guess it was too late. I am in the car and smiled at my friend, He was relieved to see I am beaming and not upset!!!!! Well.. I had my own reason to feel foolish, stupid yet happy now.

Feeling silly on my thinking that he was single father, I took some trouble to look outside my car and did not spot him there. Where did he disappear so soon!!!! Just like that …Poof!! Vanish! Was he disappointed to see me go & he left, or his wife came they all left together like a happy family. I was rather disappointed to know that wife is surely lucky to be with most contented, happy, simple man I came across in recent times.

Men are surprise packages they bewilder you with fantastic love & crazy expectations!!!!

Life is full of short span happiness!!!!!

When they said Two’s a Company, They really had no idea what that means!!!!!

We all fall in love? Like lot of times!!!!  When we fail in love, we try 100 possible ways to mend our mistakes, and plan carefully to fall in love again. But that just doesn’t work.

Failure of first love is like a miscarriage, we nourish, sow dreams only to see it happen. And it just didn’t. And hell it is difficult to get over it. But our life is like mother’s womb, making babies. At least one more baby. All Alive!!!! So you can still fall in love… all over again…..

Getting over your failures is painful. That is healing pain, victory pain. Needs its own time and place to taste the accomplishment. The day you feel you won you see yourself fall in love again!!!!!

It is about two of us!!!  Anger, Love, Happiness, and Pain completes two of us!!!!  Nature defines us being together like four seasons.

Anger (Summer) - Scorching heat kills you; there is nothing good about this. Through this time all you do or at least try to do is fight the heat. When two people fight, all they do throughout the mum time between them is combat the anger they have for each other, inside. It seems shattering to see every inch of you torned apart for a reason which was once dear to you. But the pain heals you.

Love (Rain) – Thunderstorm, lightning, blurry sight. Love is exactly this feeling there is excitement, there is hope and hazy future you never really know how long this would last but you just love being in love for the moments. During this period you attempt to gather as much as possible best of times of your lives!!!!!

Spring (Happiness) – Fresh smell, serene and absolutely surreal. When you are extremely happy you pinch yourself to know if this is really happening to you. So much bliss and life is so much better and surprising when you don’t plan it and you get extra than expected.

Pain (Winter) – Freezing cold, Life around you looks standstill and slow. It might be few of such lifeless instants. You feel solitary is the best way of escape, confined to some warm place all by yourself, only to feel lonely. The need, the want is extreme but having it all seems distant.

Two individuals make a marriage work, friendship flourish, siblings bond, love survives!!!!  This is how universe work, nature aids and we all survive. It is always good to be alive to see best things coming your way after bad phase. 

It might all sound bull crap to really feel and wait for all of it to happen , but really do we have any other choice!!!!! It’s all good to know when you are low.  :-)

Life is a long, hopeful trail

Times you fail

Love, friendship, and two of us will prevail !!!!

Love

Megs!!!!

Beginning of my Cynical Search

Sometimes smiling is incumbent to all of us……

Life is bizarre, unexplainable we all agree. Moments undefined stays in our memory and we spend rest of our time finding out how one felt and waiting for it to occur to know. 

You love, you fail, you triumph and you question yourself? Triumph!!! The feeling is short lived.

Letting go is an art … An art, a practice which undertaken goes through laborious, excruciating process of pain, happiness, and freedom.

A simple story, a very desperate girl to fall in love, equally anxious guy to feel the love, make love. We all have past, they had too. A broken heart always looks for comfortable bird nest to feel secure and feel right about existence. They fell in love too, again. And every time you think you are in love you believe this time you chose the right one.

They spoke, and spoke a lot. Knowing each other seems the exciting part of any relationship. Now you know she likes chocolates & flowers, you discover he wants to be left alone when he is angry. Still it all feels new, a revelation and unmanageable at the same time.

Days passed, Years flew lots of fun moments and few bad (which they say to convince themselves that it was all perfect and meant to be). Number of romantic Karan Johar’s movies(especially Yeh Jawani hai deewani), only this director can capture the “romance” and “love”, although there is no significant difference its always about two people finding their soul mates amidst nail biting experience , so called suspense will they be together at the end!!!!), and dinners. And after all of these you realized now, like today there is something missing? Why are we fighting every day, why don’t she/ he understand me?

Yes, as of today they are not together but you and I have heard a lot of these some you feel really bad for and some you don’t care. But none of us have answers. 

But can we make this right? 

I am who I am, and I take every minute and moment delicately and judiciously to become me.  The experience and failures have made me. I am different; I don’t normally feel bad or envious like others. This is each one of us calling ourselves different. 

Isn’t it supposed to be truly “being different”!!!!! What we go through is normal but how we dodge going through is being different. Feeling sad, envious is normal accepting it instead of fighting, is really being different. Being happy is normal but feeling contented is different. Most important and exclusive of all “letting person you are in love with “be different”!!!!!.

More to come…. This is the beginning of my search…..

CLANDESTINE EVOKES REVELATION IN ME

Clandestine (mystery, secret) evokes revelation in me

Sometimes i wonder why and the answer i could not avoid hearing WHY NOT!!!!
Although we all have our stories to narrate, we like making some changes to make it sound interesting or appealing. My life is differentiated by own emotions and me. Times i am surprised with all the new alien emotions, I come across we all do.. We are never aware of things until we experience it. Here by I write two of which tend to be all of us, gone through it, familiar with unhappiness, expecting joy, doubting your own beliefs etc

Pain in letting go: Years of knowing you, I failed to understand what is it that we needed or lacked, to be together. Constant search of lost emotion or feeling left me wounded and hurt. One thing I realized lot of times we battle on reasons which essentially do not reveal the purpose of existence and need of this one person in our lives. I squandered, we wasted our “discussions” on trivial matters but mainly I needed you, because I needed a friend who could listen to me without being pejorative (judgmental). Pain of letting go a friend is a scar to your confidence and well-being. Friends come in different forms/Christmas gifts wrapped with full of surprises and glee.  In terms of spouses, parents, people you know for long time, we waste our time and energy in search  of magic but always fail to understand magic is in you but it’s time to use your wand to revive the moments. It is as refreshing as visiting your old food hangouts, reading your old novels, eating your old favorite chocolate. All of those which vanished in time.

Happiness in abundance: You are at ease, you are at peace and happiest. Living a life is with you, moment you feel this you should know you are not wrong or mistaken. Cry which makes you believe you cannot smile without this person’s presence. Love and all that jazz!!!! You feel it, and you have hunger for more. With one person you feel shielded by their affection and not by rules to stay happy. Accepting life is not always bed of roses, when we get hurt you need somebody with you to feel the pain and to release you from it. Being oblivious, when not needed and feel loved when you most need it. Being with you, the way it was planned or should be does not just seem a dream, feels real. Fights, arguments, unhappiness, failed expectations are inevitable but moments you still feel you hope to have that one cup of tea with this person and relax, certainly a “needed” relation. Someone you are annoyed about and also know you cannot have contented happiness without. These are in any forms and shapes :-) folks, friend, spouses (lucky ones). Trick is not to expect from someone since the norm says you should. And definitely admitting to the fact , this one person is “your” person even after all the mishaps , you like tolerating him/her. 

                    You cannot wait for "perfect moments" , take your moments and make it perfect!!!!
You may not realize it, but the fun in your life may be getting chipped away little by little. Hold tight to the things that give you passion and purpose in life. 


Love
Megs