Who m i?????

She is dressed in her best of clothes looking delightful, innocence in her eyes and that novel smile. Nervously biting her lip she clamps her text books tightly against her chest. Hope, in her eyes she eagerly looks at them for a blissful hug, as they approach hurriedly she immediately understands it is not what she thought.

           The car screeches violently in front of a huge gate, as she gets down from the back seat reluctantly she fears for the worst day of her life. A big evil school gate, 5 year old girl with dreamy eyes and her life begins today. The very first time she felt her mom does not love her; she still imagines and wishes to be around her favorite toys.

We all must have felt what she felt. And that day it was told to all of us to be somebody!!!! To be one of them!!!!

Every stage of her life is been series of tests…. Every time she hopes to exceed and make them proud yet she failed miserably. What she failed in achieving so was not the time and again trials it was to see them feel proud of her existence. Her difficult times always took over her happiness; it was like a dark cloud following her wherever she wishes to go.

And then she arrived at a stage in her life where she could choose freedom versus “their life for me”!!!

The great unknown occurred first time in her life she felt loved and understood what love could do to her. She was a different person; every day morning after fresh hot bath when she looked at herself in the mirror she only saw a very beautiful girl with a dream. Dream which could change her world entirely and that was her very first taste of freedom.

    She lived ever bit of her prayers; today she felt she could share that bit of her favourite meal with someone and that felt good, still contented and full.

Things change, people change too and it hurt her. Painfully she saw herself unloving every single thing which once she found beautiful. She lost the sense of belonging; she was alien in her own tailor made world. Every scream, every cry of hers beckoned for that one tight hug, the same kind 5 year old girl waited optimistically.

Years passed as decades, life treaded slowly but steadily. But who is happy and what made her happy just became a mirage. Times you know it’s all getting better it drags you back to all your hurts and pains.

She wished for peace, sipping a cuppa by the sea and only you hear giant waves hitting the shore, rustle of your unkept hair.

She is here, she felt she has arrived when smooth silent water kissed her feet , the chill  water promised her freedom from strife. With hair let loose, arms wide open she bellowed her name to the universe dominantly, sudden rush of pride filled her body and a drop of tear rolled down her cheeks. Tear of freedom and happiness. Sudden abundant happiness tired her as she fell on her knees to the ground, sealing her face with hands slowly she opened her eyes only to see herself in the water. She looked beautiful and alone. This being alone was not sadness this was good and felt right!!! Just right!!!

I believe she is not alone; she lived in all of us. She was a small girl who wanted to see her parents happy, she dreamt of love, family she got it all with its own risks and failures. But she fought; she fought strong and emerged as a woman with contentment of achievements. Her reflection in water was her reward, a state of mind and it’s always, will be her

                               “FREEDOM”!!!!!

Freedom to express, to live the way she wants to, to experience, to love, to marry she chooses to, to be a mother ….. It goes on… every woman loves and feels proud to be woman herself. It’s a gift and power at the same time.

Dedicated to my closest friend (name not to be disclosed), her story my way!!!

Love

Megz!!!!