Clandestine (mystery,
secret) evokes revelation in me
Although we all have our stories to narrate, we like making some changes to make it sound interesting or appealing. My life is differentiated by own emotions and me. Times i am surprised with all the new alien emotions, I come across we all do.. We are never aware of things until we experience it. Here by I write two of which tend to be all of us, gone through it, familiar with unhappiness, expecting joy, doubting your own beliefs etc
Pain in letting go: Years of knowing you, I failed to understand what is it that we needed or lacked, to be together. Constant search of lost emotion or feeling left me wounded and hurt. One thing I realized lot of times we battle on reasons which essentially do not reveal the purpose of existence and need of this one person in our lives. I squandered, we wasted our “discussions” on trivial matters but mainly I needed you, because I needed a friend who could listen to me without being pejorative (judgmental). Pain of letting go a friend is a scar to your confidence and well-being. Friends come in different forms/Christmas gifts wrapped with full of surprises and glee. In terms of spouses, parents, people you know for long time, we waste our time and energy in search of magic but always fail to understand magic is in you but it’s time to use your wand to revive the moments. It is as refreshing as visiting your old food hangouts, reading your old novels, eating your old favorite chocolate. All of those which vanished in time.
Happiness in abundance: You are at ease, you are at peace and happiest. Living a life is with you, moment you feel this you should know you are not wrong or mistaken. Cry which makes you believe you cannot smile without this person’s presence. Love and all that jazz!!!! You feel it, and you have hunger for more. With one person you feel shielded by their affection and not by rules to stay happy. Accepting life is not always bed of roses, when we get hurt you need somebody with you to feel the pain and to release you from it. Being oblivious, when not needed and feel loved when you most need it. Being with you, the way it was planned or should be does not just seem a dream, feels real. Fights, arguments, unhappiness, failed expectations are inevitable but moments you still feel you hope to have that one cup of tea with this person and relax, certainly a “needed” relation. Someone you are annoyed about and also know you cannot have contented happiness without. These are in any forms and shapes :-) folks, friend, spouses (lucky ones). Trick is not to expect from someone since the norm says you should. And definitely admitting to the fact , this one person is “your” person even after all the mishaps , you like tolerating him/her.
You cannot wait for "perfect moments" , take your moments and make it perfect!!!!
You may not realize it, but the fun in your life may be getting chipped away little by little. Hold tight to the things that give you passion and purpose in life.
Love
Megs
