Have I got all of it…? Do I live all that I always wished for or expected out of this life to see it perfect?
I fight odds everyday to make it flawless. I dream of life with my people around and things don’t change. Do I survive the battle of change, mishappenings, and disheartening events? Yes I do, to an extent where I have my people fighting with me against all wrongs.
Does a pray every single day helps? My confidence and belief has got me this far. I would never let go of things I chose and wanted to have in my life. But there are times I have felt I do not see the end in the war of my wanting against what I happen to receive. These questions linger in my mind during all my picture perfect, special, exclusive moments because this is exactly what I wanted and have no idea till when this will last. The scare of losing these moments and people involved is the most hardest to swallow.
To cope up with lot of noises in my head I choose to stand motionless and enjoy this very moment. I relish every second of this experience. “Living is not enough living at that moment, for that moment makes it memorable”. Every day I am torn between a desire to improve what I have for the day and a desire to enjoy what I am bestowed with for a day. As i struggle to make sense of things, life looks more beautiful without even trying to dig into the unknown facts and answer.
All I am saying is, if I see myself losing those special moments, I think subconsciously I am preparing to create another. And I love this about my life. It helps me design the people to be involved to generate “my elite moments”. My life is a gift of canvas I can paint the picture which I love to see every morning and that very minute I smile. People enter and exit out of your being, people who stay unchanged is all that matters. And which you should be concerned about.
I do devise my day even today, I succeed to make it almost perfect every single day. And person or set of people who helps me do that brings that adoring smile even till today. And, from whom I expected and I failed I choose not to look forward to in future.
Is it right to be waiting for something to occur from someone who never thought they could deliver that happiness to you. I just do not need faith in me and my affection. I need them to have faith in themselves too. That they will be there and moments with them become timeless. Losing an illusion will make you wiser than hunting for something which never existed. “You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep”. I always believed my silence and absence killed some people but does it really? If I am not somebody’s key ingredient to their picture perfect life they cannot be mine as well.
And how did I achieve this unimaginable spot people work hard to reach. Simply, I attain happiness from loved ones who stayed endlessly. I revive and relive every moment amongst them. Though new is alluring it is not sustaining .
Now, I see myself wiser and happier every day. Believe me, my life is almost perfect!!! I reborn with people, “my people” every time i am amidst them it do create a new, refreshing panorama captured and treasured.
This is dedicated to all those important ones who have made it happen for me… PERFECT!!! And this is how i celebrate my life... with you all..
